Three women die A Christian an Atheist and an Agnostic and are at the gates of heaven and St. Peter pops up and says “Before you enter heaven you must each answer one question correctly”.
The agnostic was asked “Who was the first man on earth?” to which she replied “I don’t know” and was allowed into heaven.
The Christian was asked “Who was the first woman on earth?” to which she replied “Eve” and was allowed into heaven.
The Atheist was asked “What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?” to which she replied “Ohh! That’s a hard one.”
With so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a visit to earth to check things out. He strolled into a bar and approached the first man he saw. “If you believe in me enough to give me $50,” he said, “I will grant you eternal life.”
“Sorry, I’m an atheist,” the fellow replied, “and have never believed in God.”
God walked up to another man and made the same offer. “Well, I’m an agnostic and not really sure if I believe in you or not,” the guy said, “but here’s 50 bucks, just in case.”
As the Lord turned away, a third man ran up to him. “I’m Pat Robertson and don’t really care if you’re God or not,” he said excitedly. “Just teach me the trick you did with the agnostic and I’ll give you $100.”
A man sees a boy with a box of kittens
the man goes over and says “oh what cute kittens!” the boy replies “yes they are Atheist kittens“. About a week later the man sees the boy again with the same batch of kittens. Once again he walks over and says “my, those are just adorable!” the boy replies “yes, they are Agnostic kittens” the man asks “wait, weren’t they Atheist before?” the boy looks at the man and says” yeah but they have their eyes open now”
An Atheist is rowing his boat on Loch Ness when he spots the infamous huge monster moving straight at him. As Nessie towers and lunges at him, the Atheist shouts, “Please God, help me!” Time freezes. A voice from heaven asks, “Why should I help you now? You didn’t even believe in me five seconds ago.” The Atheist replies, “Hey, give me a break. Five seconds ago, I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness Monster, either!”
A) How many agnostics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
B) I don’t know, how many agnostics does it take?
C) I don’t know.
An agnostic dies and finds himself being greeted by Moses and Mohammed.
‘How is it I got here? I didn’t believe’, asks the agnostic.
‘Well’, says Moses, ‘it is not what you believe, it is how you lived. Anyway follow me’.
As they walk along Moses points out the Jews, the Muslims, and Buddhists. They came up to a wall and as the agnostic starts to ask another question, Moses whispers, ‘Quiet, on the other side are the Christians, and they don’t think anyone else is up here’..
Christians run a restaurant called Belief. It’s a place to place an order get what you want and you always get what you pay for.
Atheists run a restaurant called Dogmatic Rhetoric. It’s a place where they decide what you want and you have two choices, take it or leave it.
Agnostic’s run a restaurant called Karma. It’s a place where there is no need to place any order. You are automatically served what you deserve.
agnostic humor 