Agnostic Jokes 1

Why did you become agnostic?

I became agnostic when I was praying one day and realized I was talking to myself. I stayed away from atheism because they demanded proof of this fact. And what’s with only one holiday? April 1st National Atheist Day? And who do they talk to during orgasms?


What would heaven be like for agnostics theists and atheists if god was real?

I wonder…. fade to dream scape….

Would be theists on their knees all day praying for eternity

Atheists not believing they got sent to hell for not believing in god and claiming they are not really in hell flipping burgers because it does not exist.

Agnostics eating burgers and having sex because they don’t know any better and admitted their mistake and god forgave them.

What’s important to remember when making coffee for god?

It is very important not to mistake sugar for salt when making coffee, but to believe or not believe in God is not important at all, you can take belief with a grain of salt and your coffee black.

Does anyone know what’s wrong with us agnostics?

Nobody can get the truth out of an agnostic because we don’t know what it is. Agnostics keep ourselves in a constant state of utter confusion.

But I think I figured out black holes. Black Holes are where God divided by zero.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

Is atheist fundies arguing with Agnostics like running in the Special Olympics?

Even if you win you are still retarded. There is a fine line between trolling and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Theists Believe, Atheists believe they don’t believe, and I believe I have no idea…

Is agnosticism the sudden cessation of an atheist fundies stupidity?

Stupidity is better kept a secret than displayed I would think why is it just the opposite thinking for atheist fundies?

Are atheist fundies the reason God created the middle finger….

Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.

Is agnosticism like the force?

It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world of theology together? Like Theological duct tape? Really when you think about it an agnostic choosing the lesser of two stupid positions is still choosing stupidity and then we would both be wrong.

Did God in creating atheist fundies somewhat overestimated his ability?

Atheist fundies wish to believe but think god is stupid. Agnostics wish to believe but know belief is a graveyard. If you really want to find something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

Is lack of belief like Noah brains?

It’s like saying you’re wacked… what is wacked?

Do atheist fundies lack sophistication?

I’ll bet you lack a belief in this as well.

“The objective is to convince people that Darwinism is inherently atheistic, thus shifting the debate from creationism vs. evolution to the existence of God vs. the non-existence of God. From there people are introduced to the truth of the Bible and then the question of sin and finally introduced to Jesus.”
— Phillip Johnson, creator of the idea of ‘Intelligent’ Design

How many of you lackies know way more about the bible god and Jesus that you lack a belief in now than before you started googling? See what they are doing here 🙂

Can you define atheist lackey?

Atheist Lackey n. A person to be pitied in that he lacks a belief in things they lack comprehension of, and who has thus deprived himself of a coherent point of view in any theological debate.

Modus Operandi: argues in a circular fallacy communicating thoughts in lack of belief speak. Pretty hard to debate from either the pro or con side when you lack belief in either position. A judge could only conclude you are kind of right but not really…
-English Agnostic Dictionary

Like me asking if you lack a like for crunchy peanut butter either you do or you don’t anything else is indecisiveness.



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