Agnostic Jokes 9

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The 10 Commandments of Logical Fallacies

1. Thou shall not attack the person’s character, but the argument. (Ad hominem)

2. Thou shall not misrepresent or exaggerate a person’s argument in order to make them easier to attack. (Straw man fallacy)

3. Thou shall not use small numbers to represent the whole. (Hasty generalization)

4. Thou shall not argue thy position by assuming one of its premises is true. (Begging the question)

5. Thou shall not claim that because something occurred before, it must be the cause. (Post Hoc/False cause)

6. Thou shall not reduce the argument down to two possibilities. (False dichotomy)

7. Thou shall not argue that because of our ignorance, claim must be true or false. (Ad ignorantium)

8. Thou shall not select only the supporting information and ignore everything that goes against the claim. (Cherry-picking)

9. Thou shall not assume “this” follows “that” when it has no logical connection. (Non sequitur)

10. Thou shall not claim that because a premise is popular, therefore it must be true.(Bandwagon fallacy)

 

Agnostic Question1

12 Signs You May Be Atheist Fundie…

1. You became an atheist when you were 10 years old, based on ideas of God that you learned in Sunday School. Your ideas about God haven’t changed since.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

2. You think that the primary aim of an omni-benevolent God is for people to have FUN.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

3. Although you’ve memorized a half a dozen proofs that He doesn’t exist, you still think you’re God’s gift to the ignorant masses.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

4. You believe the astronomical size of the universe somehow disproves God, as if God needed a tiny universe in order to exist.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

5. You spend hours arguing that atheism actually means “the lack of belief in gods” and not just “belief that god does not exist”, as if this is a meaningful distinction in real life.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

6. You can make the existence of pink unicorns the center-piece of a philosophical critique.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

7. You’re a spoiled fifteen year old boy who lives in the suburbs and you go into a chat room to declare that, “I know there is no God because no loving God would allow anyone to suffer as much as I…hold on. My cell phone’s ringing.”

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

8. You believe that if something cannot be touched, seen, heard, or measured in some way, then it must not exist, yet you fail to see the irony of your calling Christians “narrow-minded”.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

9. You believe that priests are only in it for the money, despite the fact that they make less than almost anyone else with their level of education.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

10. Your only knowledge of The Bible comes from searching ‘bible contradictions’ in Google.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

11. You believe the movie Dogma gives the most accurate portrayal of Christian theology.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

12. You refuse to eat at Church’s Chicken, and it’s NOT because the chicken’s too greasy.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

 

Agnostic Question1

 

Why is it that no matter what color of pink unicorn bubble bath you use the bubbles are always clear?

Why do buffalo wings taste like chicken? What do chickens think atheist fundies taste like, eggs or eggholes?

 

Agnostic Question1

How can you rationalize a belief in the nonexistent and at the same time a non-belief in the nonexistent?

Isn’t it the same thing really? A belief in nothing VS a non-belief in nothing.

Its just an opinion on nothing with no knowledge to support your belief either way you put it….

 

Agnostic Question1

Isn’t trying to prove religion with science like washing your feet with your sox on?

What does science have to do with atheism?

What rocket scientist though that one up? Like me saying I bashed two rocks together in pond scum and failed to make life or dinosaurs so evolution and the beginning of life is false. Scientific proof of philosophy indeed.

 

Agnostic Question1

If two independent experiments failed to replicate the Abiogenesis Theory does it falsify the Theory?

In natural science, abiogenesis or biopoesis is the study of how biological life arises from inorganic matter. (Not ignorance matters, That’s an atheist fundie term)

The two independently conducted experiments one by an agnostic and the other by an atheist team both failed miserably.

The agnostic bashed two rocks together in pond scum and failed to make life or dinosaurs.

While the atheist team bashed their two rocks on bums and also failed to make life as well, although the two proud dads did think for a moment they gave birth to a baby dinosaur. But upon closer inspection they discovered it was just a haemorrhoid that had burst during the experiment. Bummer.

 

Agnostic Question1

If wishes were horses, would atheist fundies ride?

I took my atheist fundie friend horseback riding. He had a blast, until I ran out of quarters. You don’t have to be a zoologist to recognize an atheist fundie jackass 🙂

Whoever coined the phrase “quiet as an atheist fundie” Has clearly never stepped on one.

 

Agnostic Question1

Will there will come a time when an atheist fundie believe everything is finished?

When that time comes it will be the beginning of your agnostic journey. When you can finally answer the question what is the sound of one hand clapping. With a smile and show your enlightenment without breaking the silence you are trying to explain.

And know the answer to this: If who I am is what I have and what I have is lost, then who am I?

Then and only then will your butt release your head from bondage and set you free from Uranus to explore the universe that awaits beyond…

The Agnostologist MacNova Autodidact, Polymath and Agnostic-at-large, Koanmaster And very Zenney Guy.

 

Agnostic Question1

Is the Theory of Relativity like an agnostic with a crunchy peanut butter sandwich?

In that the hardness of crunchy peanut butter is directly proportional to the relative softness of the bread.

And wasn’t that Theory just falsified like the Big bang was a few years ago? I liked the Bouncing Universe Theory myself back then it made perfect sense too 🙂 But the New String theory is plausible.

 

Agnostic Question1

What does science have to do with Atheism?

Is Atheology and Theology branches of Physics or Chemistry do new discoveries in science prove or disprove god?

 

Agnostic Question1

Atheists don’t seem to realize theories are called theories because they are just that … A THEORY… That’s why we have LAWS. Did the flat earth Theory go away because some Atheist told everyone to prove it to him? Or was is when some agnostic came along and said”I don’t know lets see” and proved it was round? Guess that answers Rick’s question.

 

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Kinda works the same way in Law… If I say you killed somebody, I have to prove that you did it. You do not have to prove you didn’t. With Ricks statement saying he can fly. I would look at him and say moron and carry on.

An atheist has already made up their mind on god and even though they as for proof there is nothing they would accept as proof. I’m sure if I showed up at Rickys place with some dude on a donkey ans 12 followers he would call the police. and say moron and carry on …

To the Believers no proof is nessessary to the non believers none is possible and some admit they just don’t know.

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