Agnostic Jokes 14

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An atheist, an agnostic, and a Christian walk into a bar…

Bartender asks, “Is this a joke?”

Christian says, “I’ll buy you a beer.” Agnostic says, “I don’t know.” Atheist says, “I don’t believe in beer…but I will if you buy me one!”

Christian says, “What kind of beer do you drink.” Agnostic says, “Which beer is the best?” Atheist says, “None of them!”

Later on the Christian says, “I believe it’s the agnostics turn pay the bill.” Agnostic says, “I’m not sure I can pay the bill.” Atheist runs out the door, saying, “As long as I can’t see the bill, there is no bill to pay!”

Christian says, “Let’s have another round.” Agnostic says, “Again, I don’t know.” Atheist says, “There is no beer.”

The atheist finally offers to buy the others a standard measure of ethyl alcohol infused liquid that induces an intesified jovial social experience followed by soporific state. By the time he has finished saying all this, the agnostic and the Christian are already on their third round and having a fun time.

The Christian says, “God will provide me with a beer.” The atheist wonders if maybe a god could provide him one. The agnostic buys her own beer, and is the only one with a beer at the end of the night

The agnostic drives the group home. Before long, a highway patrolman pulls them over. The Christian prays, “Oh God, I believe you’ll save us from this ticket.” The atheist warns, “Well, that cop will use a test to verify the sobriety of the driver. I can assure you there will be no ticket.” The agnostic, stressing out over whether or not there will be a ticket, throws up out the window and onto the cop. The cop says, “Good Lord man! I believe you need to step out of the car. NOW!” The atheist exclaims, “What do you know? The cop’s a religious man too!”

 

 Agnostic Question1

A Christian was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, “I think not.” And he vanished.

An Agnostic was also sitting at the bar. After the Christian vanished in a puff of smoke, the bartender walked over to him and asked, “Did you see that?” To which Agnostic replied, “I can’t be certain.”

The bartender then noticed the Atheist was there. So he asked him if he could believe what had happened. The Atheist replied, “I lack a belief.” The bartender says “Lack of Belief? What does that even mean?”

Agnostic Question1

 

An Atheist, an Agnostic and a Christian are sitting in a street café drinking beer and watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

The Agnostic: “One of the two measurements wasn’t very accurate.”
The Christian: “They have reproduced”.
The Atheist: “If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again.”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

The three umpires at an amateur baseball game, a Christian, an Agnostic and an Atheist during the week, all call a player out on what could only be described as a close call. The coach of the player who thought he’d made the base asked the umpires why they’d called his player out.
The Christian replied “He’s out ’cause I called it as it was.”
The Agnostic replied “He’s out ’cause I called it like I saw it.”
The Atheist replied “He’s out ’cause I called him out.”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

A Christian chicken farmer wanting to maximize his egg production asked for quotes from an Atheist and an Agnostic to build a chicken coop. The Christian says, “Well, last time I had 1000 chickens and my coop was 100 x 10 and now I have 100,000 chickens so I’ll need a much bigger coop” The Agnostic tackles the problem by surverying, costing materials, reading up on chickens and their needs, writing down a bunch of equations to maximise chicken-to-egg ratio, taking into account the lay of the land and writing a computer program to solve any issues. The Atheist looks at the problem and says, “Let’s start by assuming spherical chickens….”

 Agnostic Question1

A Christian, an Atheist and an Agnostic (it is said) were holidaying in Scotland. Glancing from a train window, they observed a black sheep in the middle of a field.
“How interesting,” observed the Christian “all scottish sheep are black!”
To which the Atheist responded, “No, no! Some Scottish sheep are black!”
The Agnostic gazed heavenward in supplication, and then intoned, “In Scotland there exists at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black. The rest I’m not sure about”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

Why did the agnostic throw her watch out the window?
She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.

 

Agnostic Question1

 

A nun gets into a cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

Finally, the cabbie says, “I have a question to ask you, but I don’t want to offend you.”

“My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy about a nun performing oral sex on me.”

“Well, first, you have to be single, and then you must also be Catholic.”

The cab driver says, “Yes, I am single, and I’m Catholic, too!”

The nun says, “OK, pull into the next alley.” He does, and the nun fulfills his fantasy.

When they get back on the road, the cab driver starts weeping.

“My dear child, why are you crying?”

“Forgive me, sister, but I have sinned. I lied. I must confess — I’m married and I’m Atheist.”

“That’s OK,” says the nun. “My name is Kevin, and I’m a Rainbow Atheist, I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”

 

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Agnostic Quotes 2

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If there is no God what’s the point of an atheist?

 

An atheist’s very existence depends upon the very God the try to discredit. And the irony is, this god is all they talk about…

If there is no god where does crunchy peanut butter come from?

Is trying to provide proof to an atheist harder than knocking a dog off a meat wagon?

 

To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.
Thomas Aquinas

Do all people have the right to stupidity but atheist fundies just abuse the privilege?

 

Like saying we are all born atheist!! How stupid is that?
When I was born agnostic I was so dumbfounded I didn’t even talk for a year and a half. Let alone tell everyone I didn’t believe in a god I never even knew existed.

Seems somebody does not know the difference between belief and knowledge, it’s like what separates atheist from agnostic.

Don’t pee down my back and tell me it’s raining. I know what I don’t know and I know damn well you don’t know and you know it!
Agnostic gnostic proverb

 

Does anyone talk more about god than an atheist fundie who does not believe in god?

“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.”

– Winston Churchill.

 

“Does god exist, does consciousness exist, do they both coexist or non-exist? They are one and the same.”

 

Agnostics is just not being so open minded that your brain falls out.
It’s the difference between a theological belief in Noah
And an Atheist fundie with Noah Brains.

Was the first prototype for god an agnostic? But recalled when the nails would not stay in?

 

Are atheists even in their right minds? A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. The atheist fundie left brain has nothing right, while the atheist right brain has nothing left..

 

Atheist have the answers to everything and the solution to nothing.

Agnostic Humor 13

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Atheist’s seem to lose their collective shit any time I tell them evolution is just a theory they treat it as if it is a commandment rather than a Theory. And then they come back with these rants on Oh ya if you think Evolution is a theory then you must think gravity is just a theory and then they start. I’ll stop and let you look at some Pics. And you decide for yourself.

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At first glance the little pseudointellectual scientists makes you think they are quite correct and the use of science to put down religion seems to work. Although I’m not sure what science has to do with religion.

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But rather me waste my time trying to argue with morons I’ll just let Sir Issac speak for himself.

 

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Yes indeed Gravity is a Law not a Theory…

 

Newton’s law of universal gravitation

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Newton’s law of universal gravitation states that every point mass in the universe attracts every other point mass with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. (Separately it was shown that large spherically symmetrical masses attract and are attracted as if all their mass were concentrated at their centers.)
So there you have it proof positive Atheists have no mass between their ears 🙂
Another Atheist Favorite is

-That which is asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.- Christopher Hitchens.

– An opinion offered when asked, can be accepted or dismissed with no evidence necessary. – Thats all I have to say.

 

I have listened to Atheists talk about how bad Christians are and how ignorant they are for believing in a God they cannot see. All the while holding up a lack of belief as if, it is somehow a valid position or moral compass and say you don’t need a God to be good.

Catholics started hospitals to care for the sick, they established orphanages and help the poor. They are the largest charitable organization on the planet, they educate more children than another scholarly or religious institution. They developed the Scientific Method and Laws of Evidence. They founded the College system Great Cities were named after their Saints. There are schools of Theology in almost every major university in the world.

No I don’t think you need a God to be good but that being said there is nothing wrong with faith. I have never seen an Atheist soup kitchen or even so much as a Preschool of Atheism and maybe they will name a great City after Hitchens but I lack a belief in that. But I did name my litter box after him after all he did like the Scotch too much and ended up shit faced quite often and he saw nothing wrong with beastiality God bless his soul. So with this you kill 2 birds with one stone so to speak.

Before you get on your keyboard and tell everyone how right and smart you are why not show everyone? Your actions will speak louder than any words you can contrive. Yes I know Atheists have a lack of belief and the haters are going to hate but…

An opinion with a lack of knowledge is called ignorance.

As an Agnostic I can only say that, I do not know, now ask yourself how much truth and wisdom is in that answer?

 

My rant is done 🙂

Agnostic Jokes 12

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There are three people applying for the same job. One is a Christian, one an Atheist, and one an Agnostic. The interviewing committee first calls in the Christian. They say “we have only one question. What is 500 plus 500?” The Christian, without hesitation, says “1000.”

The committee sends him out and calls in the Atheist. When the Atheist comes in, they ask the same question. The Atheist ponders the question for a moment, and then answers “1000… I’m 95% confident.” He is then also thanked for his time and sent on his way.

When the Agnostic enters the room, he is asked the same question: “what is 500 plus 500?” The Atheist replies, “what would you like it to be?”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

What do you get when you cross an Atheist with a Jehovah’s Witness?
Someone who knocks at your door for no reason.

 

Agnostic Question1

 

What is the difference between a Christian, an Atheist, and an Agnostic?
A Christian chooses to believe in God despite science.
An Atheist lacks a belief in god because there is no scientific proof of it.
An Agnostic sees no connection between science and religion.

 

Agnostic Question1

 

An Atheist and an Agnostic are discussing his lack of belief in god, when the atheist of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The agnostic guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the agnostic says “OK, now what?”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

An agnostic and an Atheist were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night the Agnostic woke the Atheist up and said: “Look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.” The Atheist replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.” The Agnostic said: “And what do you deduce from that?” The Atheist replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.” And the Agnostic said: “You idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

Two buddies an Agnostic and an Atheist were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, the Agnostic and the Atheist discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was a heaven and did they play baseball there.

 

One summer night, the Agnostic passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy the Atheist awoke to the sound of the Agnostic’s voice from beyond. “Agnostic is that you?” Atheist asked. “Of course it me,” the Agnostic replied.

 

“This is unbelievable!” the Atheist exclaimed. “So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?”

 

“Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?”

 

The Atheist excitedly replies, “Tell me the good news first.”

 

“Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven, Atheist.”

 

“Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?”

 

“You’re pitching tomorrow night.”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said,

“And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

He sat down. The agnostic song leader who was filling in for the day for his friend then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We Gather at the River.”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

 

A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says “get in, get in!” The religous man replies, ” no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.”

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause “God will grant him a miracle.”

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down.” St. Peter chuckles and responds, “I don’t know what you’re complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter.”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

Being an agnostic I am not totally ignorant to other people when it comes to faith I go to church with my wife at Christmas and Easter not because I believe, but because I am considerate of others beliefs.

Coming out of church one Christmas day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my hand and pulled me aside.


The Pastor said,”You need to join the Army of the Lord!”

I replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”

Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”

I whispered back, “I’m in the secret service. 

 

 

Agnostic Jokes 11

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A christian asks an Agnostic, 
"What did You have at the Atheist dinner?"
"Some spaghetti, meatballs, and 769 green peas."
"Do not bullshit me, when did You count the peas?"
"When Richard Dawkins stood up to give his speech."

Agnostic Question1


Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke,
don't fix it.

Atheists believe that if it ain't broke,
it doesn't have enough lack of belief yet.

Agnostic Question1


Light travels faster than sound. 

This is why some Atheists appear bright
until you hear them speak. 
Agnostic Question1
Three men, a Christian, an Atheist, and
an Agnostic, were condemned to be executed. 

Their captors told them that they had 
the right to have a final meal before the execution.

They asked the Christian what he wanted.
"Give me the body and blood of Christ" he requested. 
So they gave it to him, he ate it, 
and then they executed him. 

Next it was the Atheists turn.
"Give me a big plate of pasta, 
the spaghetti and a meat a balls" 
said the Atheist. 
So they brought it to him,
 he ate it, and then they executed him.

Now it was the Agnostic's turn. 
"I want a big bowl of strawberries, "
said the Agnostic. "Strawberries!!!
They aren't even in season!"
"So, I'll wait..."

Agnostic Question1


An Atheist, an Agnostic and a Christian are working on a 

very high scaffolding. Suddenly, the Atheist falls off.
He is killed instantaneously.
After the ambulance leaves with the Atheist's body, 
The Agnostic and the Christian realize 
they'll have to inform his wife.

The Agnostic says he's good at this sort of
sensitive stuff, 
so he volunteers to do the job.

After two hours he returns, carrying a large bowl of 
spaghetti and a meat a balls. 
"So did you tell her?" asks the Christian.

"Yep", replies The Agnostic.

"Say, where did you get the large
bowl of spaghetti and a meat a balls?"

The Agnostic informs the Christian. 
"She bought it for me, the Atheists wife."

"WHAT??" exclaims the Christian, "you just told her, 
her husband died and she bought you
a large bowl of spaghetti and a meat a balls?"

"Sure," The Agnostic says.

"WHY?" asks A Christian.

"Well," The Agnostic continues, 
"when she answered the door,
I asked her, 'are you the Atheist's widow?' 
'Widow?', she said, 
'no, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!' 

So I said: "I'll bet you a large 
bowl of spaghetti and a meat a balls, you ARE!"

Penn-Jillette2


"Do you believe in life after death?" 

the Agnostic boss asked one of his atheist employees.

"NO!!!, Sir." the new recruit replied.

"Well, then, that makes I suggest you adjust 
your lack of belief," the boss went on.
"After you left early yesterday 
to go to your grandmother's funeral, 
she stopped in to see you."

Agnostic Question1

An Atheist, a Theist, an Agnostic, and a Gnostic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
The Gnostic chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The Atheist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The Theist chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols and allowing the bible to be written.


The Agnostic chose the thermos bottle.
“Why a thermos bottle?” the others asked.
“Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.”
“Yes — so what?”
“Think about it.” said the Agnostic reverently. That little bottle — how does it know?”

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Agnostic Jokes 10

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Three women die A Christian an Atheist and an Agnostic and are at the gates of heaven and St. Peter pops up and says “Before you enter heaven you must each answer one question correctly”.

 

The agnostic was asked “Who was the first man on earth?” to which she replied “I don’t know” and was allowed into heaven.

 

The Christian was asked “Who was the first woman on earth?” to which she replied “Eve” and was allowed into heaven.

 

The Atheist was asked “What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?” to which she replied “Ohh! That’s a hard one.”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

With so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a visit to earth to check things out. He strolled into a bar and approached the first man he saw. “If you believe in me enough to give me $50,” he said, “I will grant you eternal life.”
“Sorry, I’m an atheist,” the fellow replied, “and have never believed in God.”
God walked up to another man and made the same offer. “Well, I’m an agnostic and not really sure if I believe in you or not,” the guy said, “but here’s 50 bucks, just in case.”
As the Lord turned away, a third man ran up to him. “I’m Pat Robertson and don’t really care if you’re God or not,” he said excitedly. “Just teach me the trick you did with the agnostic and I’ll give you $100.”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

A man sees a boy with a box of kittens
the man goes over and says “oh what cute kittens!” the boy replies “yes they are Atheist kittens“. About a week later the man sees the boy again with the same batch of kittens. Once again he walks over and says “my, those are just adorable!” the boy replies “yes, they are Agnostic kittens” the man asks “wait, weren’t they Atheist before?” the boy looks at the man and says” yeah but they have their eyes open now

 

Agnostic Question1

 

An Atheist is rowing his boat on Loch Ness when he spots the infamous huge monster moving straight at him. As Nessie towers and lunges at him, the Atheist shouts, “Please God, help me!” Time freezes. A voice from heaven asks, “Why should I help you now? You didn’t even believe in me five seconds ago.” The Atheist replies, “Hey, give me a break. Five seconds ago, I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness Monster, either!”

 

Agnostic Question1

 

A)    How many agnostics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

B)    I don’t know, how many agnostics does it take?

C)    I don’t know.

 

Agnostic Question1

 

An agnostic dies and finds himself being greeted by Moses and Mohammed.

‘How is it I got here? I didn’t believe’, asks the agnostic.

‘Well’, says Moses, ‘it is not what you believe, it is how you lived. Anyway follow me’.

As they walk along Moses points out the Jews, the Muslims, and Buddhists. They came up to a wall and as the agnostic starts to ask another question, Moses whispers, ‘Quiet, on the other side are the Christians, and they don’t think anyone else is up here’..

 

Agnostic Question1

 

Christians run a restaurant called Belief. It’s a place to place an order get what you want and you always get what you pay for.

Atheists run a restaurant called Dogmatic Rhetoric. It’s a place where they decide what you want and you have two choices, take it or leave it.

Agnostic’s run a restaurant called Karma. It’s a place where there is no need to place any order. You are automatically served what you deserve.

 

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Agnostic Jokes 9

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The 10 Commandments of Logical Fallacies

1. Thou shall not attack the person’s character, but the argument. (Ad hominem)

2. Thou shall not misrepresent or exaggerate a person’s argument in order to make them easier to attack. (Straw man fallacy)

3. Thou shall not use small numbers to represent the whole. (Hasty generalization)

4. Thou shall not argue thy position by assuming one of its premises is true. (Begging the question)

5. Thou shall not claim that because something occurred before, it must be the cause. (Post Hoc/False cause)

6. Thou shall not reduce the argument down to two possibilities. (False dichotomy)

7. Thou shall not argue that because of our ignorance, claim must be true or false. (Ad ignorantium)

8. Thou shall not select only the supporting information and ignore everything that goes against the claim. (Cherry-picking)

9. Thou shall not assume “this” follows “that” when it has no logical connection. (Non sequitur)

10. Thou shall not claim that because a premise is popular, therefore it must be true.(Bandwagon fallacy)

 

Agnostic Question1

12 Signs You May Be Atheist Fundie…

1. You became an atheist when you were 10 years old, based on ideas of God that you learned in Sunday School. Your ideas about God haven’t changed since.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

2. You think that the primary aim of an omni-benevolent God is for people to have FUN.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

3. Although you’ve memorized a half a dozen proofs that He doesn’t exist, you still think you’re God’s gift to the ignorant masses.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

4. You believe the astronomical size of the universe somehow disproves God, as if God needed a tiny universe in order to exist.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

5. You spend hours arguing that atheism actually means “the lack of belief in gods” and not just “belief that god does not exist”, as if this is a meaningful distinction in real life.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

6. You can make the existence of pink unicorns the center-piece of a philosophical critique.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

7. You’re a spoiled fifteen year old boy who lives in the suburbs and you go into a chat room to declare that, “I know there is no God because no loving God would allow anyone to suffer as much as I…hold on. My cell phone’s ringing.”

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

8. You believe that if something cannot be touched, seen, heard, or measured in some way, then it must not exist, yet you fail to see the irony of your calling Christians “narrow-minded”.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

9. You believe that priests are only in it for the money, despite the fact that they make less than almost anyone else with their level of education.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

10. Your only knowledge of The Bible comes from searching ‘bible contradictions’ in Google.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

11. You believe the movie Dogma gives the most accurate portrayal of Christian theology.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

12. You refuse to eat at Church’s Chicken, and it’s NOT because the chicken’s too greasy.

You May Be Atheist Fundie…

 

Agnostic Question1

 

Why is it that no matter what color of pink unicorn bubble bath you use the bubbles are always clear?

Why do buffalo wings taste like chicken? What do chickens think atheist fundies taste like, eggs or eggholes?

 

Agnostic Question1

How can you rationalize a belief in the nonexistent and at the same time a non-belief in the nonexistent?

Isn’t it the same thing really? A belief in nothing VS a non-belief in nothing.

Its just an opinion on nothing with no knowledge to support your belief either way you put it….

 

Agnostic Question1

Isn’t trying to prove religion with science like washing your feet with your sox on?

What does science have to do with atheism?

What rocket scientist though that one up? Like me saying I bashed two rocks together in pond scum and failed to make life or dinosaurs so evolution and the beginning of life is false. Scientific proof of philosophy indeed.

 

Agnostic Question1

If two independent experiments failed to replicate the Abiogenesis Theory does it falsify the Theory?

In natural science, abiogenesis or biopoesis is the study of how biological life arises from inorganic matter. (Not ignorance matters, That’s an atheist fundie term)

The two independently conducted experiments one by an agnostic and the other by an atheist team both failed miserably.

The agnostic bashed two rocks together in pond scum and failed to make life or dinosaurs.

While the atheist team bashed their two rocks on bums and also failed to make life as well, although the two proud dads did think for a moment they gave birth to a baby dinosaur. But upon closer inspection they discovered it was just a haemorrhoid that had burst during the experiment. Bummer.

 

Agnostic Question1

If wishes were horses, would atheist fundies ride?

I took my atheist fundie friend horseback riding. He had a blast, until I ran out of quarters. You don’t have to be a zoologist to recognize an atheist fundie jackass 🙂

Whoever coined the phrase “quiet as an atheist fundie” Has clearly never stepped on one.

 

Agnostic Question1

Will there will come a time when an atheist fundie believe everything is finished?

When that time comes it will be the beginning of your agnostic journey. When you can finally answer the question what is the sound of one hand clapping. With a smile and show your enlightenment without breaking the silence you are trying to explain.

And know the answer to this: If who I am is what I have and what I have is lost, then who am I?

Then and only then will your butt release your head from bondage and set you free from Uranus to explore the universe that awaits beyond…

The Agnostologist MacNova Autodidact, Polymath and Agnostic-at-large, Koanmaster And very Zenney Guy.

 

Agnostic Question1

Is the Theory of Relativity like an agnostic with a crunchy peanut butter sandwich?

In that the hardness of crunchy peanut butter is directly proportional to the relative softness of the bread.

And wasn’t that Theory just falsified like the Big bang was a few years ago? I liked the Bouncing Universe Theory myself back then it made perfect sense too 🙂 But the New String theory is plausible.

 

Agnostic Question1

What does science have to do with Atheism?

Is Atheology and Theology branches of Physics or Chemistry do new discoveries in science prove or disprove god?

 

Agnostic Question1

Atheists don’t seem to realize theories are called theories because they are just that … A THEORY… That’s why we have LAWS. Did the flat earth Theory go away because some Atheist told everyone to prove it to him? Or was is when some agnostic came along and said”I don’t know lets see” and proved it was round? Guess that answers Rick’s question.

 

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Kinda works the same way in Law… If I say you killed somebody, I have to prove that you did it. You do not have to prove you didn’t. With Ricks statement saying he can fly. I would look at him and say moron and carry on.

An atheist has already made up their mind on god and even though they as for proof there is nothing they would accept as proof. I’m sure if I showed up at Rickys place with some dude on a donkey ans 12 followers he would call the police. and say moron and carry on …

To the Believers no proof is nessessary to the non believers none is possible and some admit they just don’t know.

Agnostic Jokes 8

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If you ever want a laugh and see an atheists eyes glaze over just ask an atheist for proof that aliens exist. For some reason they do not believe in God but almost to a person they believe in aliens… And when they start defending their alien beliefs they use the same defense as Christians use for God its funny as shit. Try it for yourself. The best answer I got was … Do you actually think for one second that all the people who seen UFO’s and have been abducted are lying? EVERYONE is just liars? Is that what you think? My only answer was. You think that all the millions of people who claim to see God and speak to God every day and the miracles credited to God are all Lies? Is that what you think?

Agnostic Question1

While we are on the subject…

01

LINK

George Bernard Shaw once famously quipped, “We learn from history that we learn nothing from history”. This quote is fitting to this piece of evidence that suggests the UFO phenomenon has been around as long as human civilization has existed and yet it is consistently dismissed. Today many UFO sightings are often explained away as being the US military testing some new technological weapon or plane, but this explanation cannot be used in a time when human flight was impossible.

The painting above is titled “The Madonna with Saint Giovannino” and dates back to around the 15th century. The painting depicts the Virgin Mary in the foreground, and in the background is what appears to be a man looking up in awe at an object that is strikingly similar to our modern day perception of a UFO.

This is not the only example of UFOs in ancient art. There are literally hundreds of examples of objects in the sky in many paintings spanning across the centuries. Strangely, the majority of the paintings depict UFOS in connection with a spiritual figure or experience. This could be how the people of the period interpreted the things they were seeing or perhaps there is a literal connection between the spiritual and UFOs.

Erich von Däniken, author of the famous and controversial Chariots of The Gods, suggests that our gods and angles maybe intelligent aliens. In the Old Testament, The Book of Ezekiel discusses an encounter with a strange flying object made of metal that took the shape of a wheel. Inside were four living creatures that looked like humans. Many people believe the Bible to be the literal word of God; it should be especially hard for those people to ignore this evidence. It is the Gospel after all.

Many may have a hard time taking the theories of Däniken seriously, but even respected astrophysicist Carl Sagan believed that we should seriously consider the possibility that extraterrestrial contact occurred in the past, so we should not completely dismiss this idea.

02

LINK

Three days into the Apollo 11 flight the astronauts on board sent a strange message to mission control asking, “Do you have any idea where the S-4B is with respect to us?” The astronauts were asking where the final stage of the rocket was, which had been detached two days prior. The reason for this inquiry was because something was riding along side of the rocket and if it wasn’t part of the rocket, Apollo 11 had a visitor.

The crew on board did not want to make a big deal out of the object for fear that it would cause a panic and mission control would order the astronauts to abandon the mission. “The three of us were not going to blurt out, ‘hey Houston we got something moving along side of us and we don’t know what it is’ we weren’t about to do that…someone might of demanded we turn back because of aliens or whatever it is,” said astronaut Buzz Aldrin when discussing the situation at a later date.

Mission control did answer the astronaut’s cryptic question about the location of the S-4b unit. The unit was 6,000 miles from their location. What Aldrin and the other three astronauts were looking at was an Unidentified Flying Object exhibiting an intelligent flight path. In fact, according to Dr. David Baker, an Apollo 11 Senior Scientist, astronauts seeing UFOs is not uncommon and dates back to the early earth orbit space flights.

If your friend who works at the video store claims to have seen a sea monster, his story has very little credibility. If an experienced Naval Captain claims to have seen a sea monster then his sighting has tremendous credibility. If experienced and respected astronauts are seeing evidence of intelligent life outside of Earth it should also be taken very seriously.

03

LINK

In 1977, at Ohio Sate University, The Big Ear radio telescope picked up an unusual signal. Big Ear used numbers and letters to determine the strength of a signal, 0 being meaningless noise and Z being a strong radio signal. An astronomer, Dr. Jerry R. Ehman, studying the data from the telescope was shocked when a radio signal clocking in at ‘6EQUJ5’ came from a seemingly empty spot in space. Ehman was so shocked that he circled the signal on the data sheet and simply wrote ‘Wow’.

The transmission lasted 37 seconds and came from the Sagittarius constellation. Even more interesting is the fact that the nearest star in that specific direction is 220 million light years away. In other words, the signal came from an empty spot in space. It is also interesting to note that the signal had all the characteristics of an interstellar broadcast.

Some have tried to explain that the signal is somehow of an Earthly origin, but this seems unlikely as the signal was in a frequency that is internationally banned on Earth. The conclusion that has the most evidence going for it is that it is of an extraterrestrial origin, and because there are no stars near where the signal was found one can conclude that it came from a spacecraft manned by intelligent entities.

04

LINK

N = the number of civilizations in our galaxy with which communication might be possible;
R* = the average rate of star formation per year in our galaxy
ƒp = the fraction of those stars that have planets
ne = the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets
ƒℓ = the fraction of the above that actually go on to develop life at some point
fi = the fraction of the above that actually go on to develop intelligent life
ƒc = the fraction of civilizations that develop a technology that releases detectable signs of their existence into space
L = the length of time such civilizations release detectable signals into space.

Radio astronomer Frank Drake developed the Drake equation so he could estimate the number of planets harboring intelligent life in the galaxy by taking into consideration the factors listed above. A rigorous estimate using the Drake Equation was implemented in 2001, which also took into consideration the number of planets that are in the habitable zone (The habitable zone is an area around a star were water is in liquid form, temperature is ideal, and photosynthesis is possible). The results found that hundreds of thousands of life-bearing planets statistically should exist. It also suggested that a habitable planet like the Earth should exist just a few hundred light years away.

I find it unfair if I did not now also give equal mention to the Fermi paradox. The Fermi paradox states that if so many planets exist with intelligent life why is there a lack of contact between the intelligent life and us and why is there such a lack of physical evidence of said intelligent life. The paradox exists in that the Drake equation statistically proves life should be abundant and yet physical evidence says otherwise. It is hard to combat the arguments from the Fermi paradox except that some physical evidence does exist as you can see from this writing.

05

LINK

In 2003, astronomers with the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI) used a massive telescope to examine sections of the sky where they had previously found unexplained radio signals. They found another radio signal that was even stronger than what they had previously found.

The signal came from an area in space where there are no planets or stars and strangely was at a frequency that hydrogen absorbs, ensuring that the signal would be strong and could travel great distances. The signal was detected on three separate occasions.

“The signal is moving rapidly in frequency and you would expect that to happen if you are looking at a transmitter on a planet that’s rotating very rapidly and where the civilization is not correcting the transmission for the motion of the planet,” Says USB researcher Eric Korpela. Considering the signal operates as if it is intelligently operated and the fact that it was detected multiple times one has to consider this SETI signal the best candidate for proof of intelligent life on other planets.

These are not proofs of Alien existance of course there are none the claim that these highly suggest the possibility 🙂 Like the bible highly suggests the existence of god same idea. And both have been debunked The God by Zietgiest and the aliens by the ancient aliens debunked. and in turn Zietgiest has been debunked by the documentary Zietgiest debunked.

But what does stand up is the drake equation. now instead of employing the drake equation to support aliens use it to support god…

Agnostic Question1

ARGUMENT FROM “LET’S JUST NOT BELIEVE”

  1. All belief systems should be treated the same as the scientific one.
  2. [Theist: Why?]
  3. Because they have their own grounds.
  4. Anyway, that’s my experience of how the world works.
  5. [Theist: It’s not mine. And why should you treat claims of UFOs and aliens more seriously than claims of God’s existence?]
  6. I believe there are UFOs and aliens.
  7. But I don’t believe in God.
  8. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM ALIENS

  1. I was once abducted by aliens.
  2. The Bible doesn’t say anything about aliens.
  3. If aliens exist, then God doesn’t.
  4. You’ve seen the X-files, haven’t you?
  5. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

Agnostic Question1

What separates an atheist and a theist, the “Space”? A bit of nothing between the two?

Atheist & A theist nothing but a space to differentiate the two.

Theism/atheism is about beliefs and believers

Atheism believes there is no god, A theist believes there is a god

Atheists will say I do not believe in god like that’s any kind of distinction in the real world. Like a belief that there is no god, is somehow not a belief…

Theist  theos (Greek: θεος,   θεός “god”) Meaning God

Atheist  atheos (Greek: ἄθεος, from the privative ἀ-θεός “god”) Meaning Godless. Or without God

gnostic/agnostic is about knowledge
Thinking is always good.
People here are trying to make you believe one way or the other….
Make believe is not so good.
Knowing the difference is wisdom
And wisdom is knowing that you know nothing.
All agnostic say is I don’t know and I know you don’t know either.
No lie in that statement is there? You really don’t know do you? You just believe. Seems like a lot to do about nothing really.

I believe aliens exist vs. I believe aliens don’t exist.

Is one a alien and the other aalien? Or does alien mean without a lien? Someone who is debt free?

Well if jumping to conclusions was an Olympic event you would win gold. I’m agnostic … I’m the guy who does not know or pretend to know what ignorant people are sure off. Neither of you know anything you believe or don’t believe, which is make believe.

Agnostic Question1

Are their aliens and pink unicorns in my room?

Is god behind me I don’t know. Why don’t I know because unlike the pink unicorn or lion I don’t know what it looks like so I would not know if I tripped over god or not would I? So until somebody can define god as well as they have a pink unicorn I do not have enough data to warrant a definitive answer. So I just say hey I don’t know.

Now the little green Martians from the 60 and 70’s we must have gotten a newer version alien 2.0 or something in the 80’s because we shifted from green to grey alien grey guys with the buggy eyes. Green to grey in 40 years or so and I dig the new ship upgrades. Did they build them here or take the materials with them in the Mylar ships in the 70’s that crashed in Roswell?

So I have a definition of aliens and none in the room and I don’t know if they exist Just like the pink unicorns , them thar pink horses with one horn… Who picked pink.. must be an atheist thing.

Unlike god or lions.

Lions – 0% in room – 100% exist
Unicorns 0% in room – unknown exist
Aliens 0% in room – unknown exist
God unknown in room – unknown exist

See how comparing unicorns, faeries and aliens to compared to god just does not quite match up? Kind of like comparing apples to oranges. The Devil is in the details… 🙂

Agnostic Question1

Are atheist fundies a force of good…for nothing?

Atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world; it is simply an admission of the obvious that they are non-believers and merely deny the existence of god with no proof to support their POV. In fact, “atheist” is a term that should not ever exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a “non-astronaut” or a “non-rocket scientist”. We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle and crash in Roswell because they forgot brakes. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs. An atheist is simply a person who believes that the world of theists claiming to “never doubt the existence of God” should be obliged to present evidence for his existence-and, indeed, for his BENEVOLENCE, to this snivelling minority of pseudo scientists are smug in the knowledge of nothing but non-belief or shall we  say a lack there of.

Agnostic Question1

What do theists and atheists think an agnostic is anyways?

I’m agnostic there is no side… I’m not the neutral between two believers I’m the opposite of gnostic. I’m with the Dept. of Knowledge not the Ministry of Belief…or Lack of Belief. We deal with truth not faith… And the truth is “I don’t know”… and the gnostic would say, “And I know you don’t know either” (And an atheist would tell you this is a militant agnostic…) and that would be the truth. But you each have faith your right and believe it to be true. You are both fine until you cross the line into reality which is truth.

Agnostic Question1

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.